Much emotion surrounds the issue of re-homing or otherwise giving up a dog. Some people do it casually, while others believe it is always wrong and that any time you get a dog you should be held to a commitment for life. Surely a reasonable way of deciding what to do in any given situation falls somewhere between these two extremes.

A dog who loses a home is placed at risk of winding up homeless and euthanized. While many people who are a dog’s second, third or fourth home will make a success of keeping the dog for the rest of a long life; the dog’s chances diminish with each change of homes.

The first step in being a responsible dog owner as well as in sparing dogs high risk is to make a careful choice before you adopt. Puppy adoption that results in giving up the puppy means that you have literally taken away the puppy’s best chance at a permanent home. One estimate is that 50% of the puppies born in the United States are dead by age two years. It starts with inappropriate adoption. What should people consider when adopting a puppy or dog?

Questions to Ask Yourself before Adoption

1. Are you going to be moving? Are you sure you will have the resources to live where you can keep the dog and provide proper care? In the next ten years or so, is it likely you’ll move due to school, military service, marriage, or career advancement? Will there be enough money to pick and choose your housing regardless of the housing prices wherever you might have to move?

2. If you are married or living with someone, does this look to be a permanent relationship? A dog will not save a shaky marriage, any more than having a baby or buying a bigger house will. If you are in a relationship and choose this time to adopt a dog, consider your resources as far as being able to care and provide for the dog without putting the animal through a drastic and upsetting lifestyle change. You should also probably make sure the ownership of the dog is in your name alone.

3. If you are a teenager or getting this dog for a teenager, are mom and/or dad prepared to give this dog a good and lifelong home when the young person leaves home? Whatever the intention, in the vast majority of cases, the dog will not wind up going along, and the job will be left to the parent(s). This is such a highly transitional time in a young human life that plans for the next ten years are not foreseeable. Most of the housing that people go to straight from their parents’ homes is difficult for dog-keeping.

Human Baby Coming

The desire to add a dog to the home can be part of what we might call a nesting instinct in people, and in fact good parenting practice. If you want a dog to be part of your family life and the healthy development of your children, getting the dog in advance is good timing.

A dog to live with children needs to be chosen, raised, managed, and trained for the lifestyle. A dog is not a baby. In fact, one human baby is not another human baby—each child has different needs. Each dog has different needs, too, and a dog has different needs from a child. One of the important lessons you can learn about parenting from successfully caring for a dog is that it’s about providing the care that individual needs. It’s not about you. The dog doesn’t cry in the crate or potty on the floor just to spite you, any more than a child cries or dirties a diaper out of spite.

When people cooperate in the care of a dog--not bickering or venting frustration at inconveniences, fatigue, expense, etc. on each other or the animal—these people demonstrate that they just might be able to do the same for a child! If you find yourself in a relationship with a person who is unkind to the dog, quick to want to get rid of the dog, or abusive to you over the dog’s needs, think carefully about having a child with this person.

If the person abuses the dog or you, this can indicate a dangerous human behavior pattern, and reason to consider getting the dog and yourself out of there. If your child abuses the dog, re-homing the dog is often best, and the child needs prompt therapeutic help.

The best way to determine if your dog is the right dog to live with children is to consult a veterinary behavior specialist in person. This is a veterinarian who is board-certified in the specialty of behavior; and the best expert to evaluate the dog’s temperament, take a complete history, and advise you of the risks and your options. Ask your regular veterinarian to help you find the nearest specialist.

If the dog has shown aggression toward anyone, especially children, an evaluation of the dog needs to be done before the child’s arrival. The same is true if the dog has shown fear of children. It’s difficult for people to handle this in a timely manner because of the emotions involved when expecting a child and after the child comes.

When expecting children, people tend to want to adopt a dog in a rather dreamy and often unrealistic way. They may decide it’s a good time to have their dog give birth—which it is not. The responsibilities of properly caring for mom and pups, and placing puppies in good homes and supporting the new owners with whatever problems arise for the lives of those puppies do not fit with all the life changes that accompany becoming parents yourselves. But the maternal and paternal emotions that come with parenthood are powerful, and dogs can get caught in the middle.

After the baby comes, the parents’ emotions shift in what can be a rather shocking manner. A dog who has been the adored baby may suddenly be viewed as an inconvenience or problem. If the dog turns out to be a risk for the baby, the emotions, time, energy and resources to carefully place the dog in the best possible home are just not what they were before the baby came.

When we are the ones experiencing these powerful emotions, it’s hard to recognize them. To make good decisions about a dog—whether at the time of becoming new parents or at any other time when emotions can get in the way—pretend it’s someone else making the decision. What would you advise someone else to do in the situation? This approach often clarifies decisions so that you can make choices you will later be satisfied were the right ones.

Seasoned Citizens

Older people who want dogs and are in a position for dogs to get proper care should have them. The benefits to health and longevity of contact with a well-kept companion animal are now proven beyond contention. A dog may not be the right animal for everyone, but some animal friend will provide benefit. Where a person can’t provide any care and there isn’t anyone else to do it, a visiting animal helps, or even a bird-feeding station visible through a window. People thrive better around other living creatures.

In a situation where the person having a dog is feasible, try to pick a dog that will be the easiest possible to care for properly. Keep the dog clean, groomed, housetrained, and otherwise well trained and managed so that it will easily fit into another good home.

If you are the one responsible for the dog’s care at a time when the person has to go to the hospital or for other reason can’t provide dog care, make sure you can get the dog into safe care quickly. This is a huge kindness to the dog and will provide tremendous comfort to the person. Taking care of her dog is one of the most loving things you can do for a dog lover.

If it turns out the dog needs a permanent new home, of course you’ll regard the person’s wishes in the matter. If there is a responsible breeder involved, the breeder may have planned all along to take care of the dog when the need arose, so be sure to contact that breeder before offering the dog to anyone else.

If keeping the dog yourself means a well-suited home for the dog and if it honors the owner’s wishes, then of course do that. But be totally honest with yourself about what is best for the dog, and get expert help if you are not sure. Different dogs can have very different needs.

Responsible Re-Homing

If you need help deciding whether or not to re-home a dog, a veterinarian, particularly a veterinary behavior specialist, can be the best expert to consult. Also consider consulting your regular veterinarian, your child’s pediatrician, your physician, a psychological counselor, an attorney, or even your pastor—depending on what the concerns are with keeping the dog and what kind of support you need to make the decision.

A dog trainer, animal welfare official, or unlicensed dog behavior specialist might be helpful, or not. You could run into someone whose knowledge doesn’t fit your needs or even someone who is not ethical and yet convinces you. The decision is yours to make, and you might not need much help, or you might need a lot. Help is available, so if you are not sure, or if the situation is such that it could cause lifelong resentment with your spouse or someone else, an objective third party can make a big difference.

People often do not realize that they signed a contract when they adopted their dogs. Even if there wasn’t a signature, there may have been an agreement made that you now need to honor. A responsible breeder takes care of the dogs he or she has produced for their whole lives if they ever need new homes. A responsible rescue group does this, too. If the dog came from either source, it is your duty to contact them when you decide to give up the dog.

Not only will this person or group take responsibility for the dog now, but keep in mind that the dog will then have this safety net for the remainder of life. If you pass the dog on without going back to this source, you deprive the dog of this protection and you prevent the breeder or rescue from providing the protection. That just isn’t right.

People are often embarrassed to go back to the breeder and say the situation hasn’t worked out and they’re giving up the dog. Do it anyway. It is your duty to the dog and to the people who care about this dog and want to provide a safe home. Your embarrassment should not cost a dog’s life, and if you pass the dog on outside this safety net, even to what seems to you to be a good home, that is likely to be what happens. Just one more person passing the dog on is all it takes.

People also lie in order to get dogs they want and to make money. Dogs wind up in horrible situations because an uninformed owner gave the dog up to the wrong person. If you need to re-home a dog, get the best help available to screen homes and find the right one. You are not likely to be able to accept the duty of taking this dog back if a new home is ever again needed, so if someone is available to take on that responsibility for the dog, that is who should make the placement. This is the only way to keep dogs from being treated as throwaways.

If you know a dog is aggressive, that must be fully disclosed when you give the dog to anyone. In the event a dog is going to need to be euthanized, take the dog to a veterinarian (or have some other trusted person do so) for it to be done in the least stressful way. Don’t put a dog through the stress of an animal shelter if it is possible to move the dog directly from your home to another home. Never just abandon a dog, because it leads to that dog’s death and often causes others to suffer, too. In most places it is also illegal.

If a dog has shown aggression to other dogs, that is usually not a reason to euthanize. For many breeds it is normal, and aggression toward another dog of the same sex in the home is common in most breeds. The dog will likely do okay in a home with no other dogs of the same sex. Similarly, a dog who kills squirrels or baby rabbits is not vicious and does not need to be put to sleep. These are normal dog behaviors that do not mean the dog will bite humans.

Dogs are very adaptable, and can usually adjust to a rather wide range of situations that meet their basic needs. We tend to be emotional about how our dogs feel and what they need. We tend to think the dog could never be happy with anyone but us. And we are usually wrong about that. If the home is a good home for that dog’s needs, the dog will probably adjust and be happy there.

Most of all, do what is best for the dog. One situation where this particularly needs thought is that of a dog who is not good with children. If you place the dog in a home where children will not be a factor BEFORE a child is bitten, you may very well be saving that dog’s life.

So what is best for the dog? If you’re not sure, get help to make that decision. Start with your veterinarian. It’s amazing how often the real problem is a sore ear, knee, hip, or other physical issue that can be medically managed for a dog who can live happily ever after, once the pain and fear are relieved.

Also make sure you have checked out the management and training needs. Know why you are re-homing a dog. Maybe it’s too late to fix the problems with this dog, but you can avoid going through the same thing again by finding out what went wrong and making better choices in the future.