Q: I have a 14-month old male chocolate Lab. He is scheduled with the vet to be neutered next week. He is a very loving dog especially toward my wife and me. My wife's son and daughter live with us and my two girls are here every other weekend, and he is very loving towards the kids except for my wife's son, who is 9. Every once in awhile he growls at him, which scares us. He plays more with our son than the other kids, he doesn't growl all the time but when he does it, it seems to be a fierce growl and we cannot get him to stop -- my son can walk up and pet him and hug him but he still has that deep growl. He sometime sleeps in my son's bed and there is no problem.
Whenever friends come over he barks and growls when they come to the door, but after they come in and I get them to throw one of his toys and he fetches it once or twice, he is fine with them, as long as the person is not strange to us they are not strange to him. I just don't know what to do about the situation with my son, it scares me. I hold his choke collar whenever he starts it. It takes awhile for him to stop and then the next thing you know you look over and they are cuddled up on the floor asleep together. I do not take it as a play growl it is very fierce. If you could offer any advice I would be grateful.
A: You're doing the right thing to have him neutered, and it may help. Certainly it is essential. Don't let him sleep on anyone's bed right now -- he needs to be in his crate or his own bed, or perhaps in someone's bedroom on the rug, but not on a bed, not now. And do not let the boy walk up to him and hug him anymore. That would be a very dangerous behavior for a kid to do with this dog at this point.
He needs several months to a year of weekly obedience class and daily practice. Have an adult take him to class, and when the dog has learned each command, have each other person in the house learn how to direct him properly on that command.
It sounds like he loves the boy, but perhaps thinks this kid is one person in the house that can be his subordinate. The boy learning to properly give and enforce (not with rough handling, just good follow-through) the commands will likely take care of that problem over time.
It's necessary that you control the dog in order to protect the boy, of course, but the tension against the collar can actually make the dog more aggressive. When you get solid training under your belt, you can give the dog a verbal command ("Down" is good in these situations) and have him obey it without your touching him. In that act of obedience, the dog is accepting that he is not in charge. By getting him to do it without touch, you don't trigger any further defensive drives. When you release the dog from "Down," make it a calm release. You don't want him exploding up out of that restraint and maybe going back at the kid.
Listen to your instincts about what the dog might do. You're reading his body language, and you are probably reading it right. Don't expect a quick fix. It would be wise to have a trainer or behavior specialist come out and advise you as to how to manage the dog until you've had time to establish training. Training takes time, and we certainly don't want your son hurt before the training is well-established.
One intervention to consider is a time-out for the dog when he starts that behavior. For about 15 to 30 minutes, he goes into a private place and is removed from the action. But watch how he is when he comes out -- he might be even more dangerous. If you see this reaction, then you should certainly discontinue that method. To try the method, use a minimum of touch in getting him into the private place. Even a tight leash increases defensiveness in dogs, and with this dog you want to reduce this drive, not trigger it.
Read the book The Canine Good Citizen, by Jack and Wendy Volhard, for terrific information about dog personalities and beginning training. But get this dog into a class too. At-home training will not be enough. I hope things go well.